Silly Boy

You've left your mark

Now, like everyone else I'm attracted to, you leave

making me wonder why I fall for the same idiots every time.

You're just a silly boy, exactly like the others.

Just a boy; I should have known you'd let me down.

Senses Failed

I cry, but tears no longer come

I scream, but my voice is silenced by the memory

I fall apart and my only serenity is sleep…

That is, when the senses calm enough to let me.

I’m hoping to awaken from this nightmare

Yet I am more awake than I’ve ever been, just praying for sleep

And begging for forgiveness and relief

From the memory that I wish was a nightmare

Some day when it is not so fresh

I will sleep; I will regain the tears to cry

And the voice to scream-

But for now, they are gone

And have taken with them my hope, my happiness, my future.

Road Trip

My heart and mind are not connected;

Which leaves my soul under protected.

When my mind says no, my heart smells your scent

And I second guess my better judgment.

When I like, I love, I’ve come to conclusion

Falling for the perfect illusion

Of who I want you to have been

I justified your actions again and again

Til I was so far in the lie I’ve made-up

That I was shocked when I finally woke-up

To see the you I initially knew you were

The you that my mind knew would screw me over

Now I’m left with inerasable memories

Reproducing in my mind like a disease

That I will eternally resent

Cuz I second guessed my better judgment

Plenty of Fish in Your Sea

You’re such a professional with your words straight out of a book

Luring me in til I bite on your quadruple-edged hook

I die to hear your words then bleed to death when I do

You build me up- then tear me down to put me beneath you

Eager to hear you, I jump to the phone with each call

But each time we talk you reel me in just so I can fall

Then when I’m down, you gut me like the fish I’ve become

After tearing out my heart, you stuff me with fluff and again I succumb

I naively believe until I’m stuffed full

Then you place me on your good-for-nothing makeshift mantle

Once gutted and stuffed, this fish is not how you imagined

I’m smaller and weaker from the wounds you’ve opened

So you throw me out and regard me as trash

And set out on your pursuit for a bigger and better catch

Just so you can help me remember how small I really am

You throw bigger fishies into this pond where I alone once swam

Making me realize that I never had a chance from the start

I never had a chance at holding your heart.

Just Enough

At times when you find yourself in a financial bind

Satan will promise you just enough money,

Just enough to buy everything you ever wanted, then leave you in debt

When you want fame, he will promise you just enough time in the spotlight,

Just enough to let the lights blind you

When you then ask for space, he will give you just enough,

Just enough to hide from the world in shame for selling out

When you find yourself fallen and holding on by just your fingertips

Satan will throw you just enough rope,

Just enough to hang yourself with

He will cut you just enough slack,

Just enough to cut yourself with

Just know that whatever he offers you, it will always be just enough,

Just enough to keep you from salvation,

Just enough to keep you from a loving Redeemer,

Who wants you to give up the “just enoughs” that Satan offers

For all the love you need to stand on your own two feet again

All the love you need to accept His love again,

All the love for you to know better next time…

When you need a friend

There will be two that automatically offer themselves

One offers just enough…the other, all you need

Who will you choose?

The Monster Within

I feel abandoned- left to fend for myself on a deserted island

So alone- no one understands me or why I feel what I feel

And I don’t understand them either

It’s me against the wild things right now

I don’t know who’s right; I just know that I’m losing

But I’m not going down without a fight

I try not to let others affect me

But I’m being torn apart from the inside out

As my emotions explode into a bitter depression

The ones that matter most are ripping my heart to pieces

Sorrowful revenging hate replaces the missing pieces of my heart as I try to piece it together

Leaving me a walking disaster, a vengeful monster, an emotional wreck

Daring anyone to cross me so I can hold a grudge against them also

I’m taking names if you want to add to the growing disease flowing through my veins

The more you cross me, the more this monster of rage inside will take me over

So much so, that it might be the death of me

and I will take the grudge you helped me form to the grave

Test me if you don’t believe me

Worms

Begging for advice that no one can give

and talking at everyone that has a second to spare,

so I can share my pathetic love story- or lack thereof

only to hear nothing that calms my soul.

Seeking for answers that no one else can possess;

Revelations that could only stream from your lips,

yet your lips are pursed; adamant to let nothing escape.

Instead of tranquilizing my troubles, you go in for a kiss

I reject, not because I don’t want to,

but because this brings more questions that will go unanswered.

This opens a whole new bag of worms that will mingle with the others wiggling in my stomach,

already causing a rare pain throughout my entire core

making me want to throw them up.

I’d rather receive your answers, but you’d rather open more bags of worms

We both know you love to see me squirm;

the outer appearance of what I feel inside

While you sit back and relax, you let me do all the work and wondering

What are you hiding behind your pursed lips?

What are you gaining from my losses?

Tell me your answers, so I can swallow your words and kill these worms

Don’t let them eat me first.