Charmer

So many ways to say what I yearn to say, yet I prefer to stay silent

Whether for fear of rejection or fear of acceptance, I fear I do not know

But fear is a factor that is paralyzing my outside and ripping my insides to shreds.

In the circus that is my life, I’m the tight rope walker hoping not to fall,

or the trapeze-girl hoping the boy will catch me when I let go of the swing.

In a perfect scenario he is the net or the boy on the other trapeze.

But I have already dubbed him the snake charmer, the lion tamer, the ring leader of my heart.

I have fallen in the past and am hoping that the third time’s the charm in falling for the charmer.

You’d think after two times of repairing the damages to my heart,

I’d learn to stay away from this boy.

For he is just a boy, but this boy is not ordinary.

He’s tamed this lioness, lulled the rattlesnake in me to sleep,

and performed his tricks to win my heart.

And somehow I fall for his charm every time he decides to come back around.

I’m just hoping this time will be different, but it will not differ unless I find the words to say.

I don’t have them yet- but just maybe when I find them-

they will change our roles and I will be the lion tamer and he the tight-rope walker.
Just gotta find the words to say

Before it’s too late