Procrastination

I have finally begun
I feel pride in what I've done
I wouldn't call myself a martyr
but I'm def'nitely not a starter
It takes hours to think up a topic
My mind's eye is myopic
but I am getting somewhere
this paper isn't completely bare
I am changing the past
there is movement of the pen at last
I'm finally in the writing stage
yup, my name is now on the page.

Sitting at the Edge of the World

Feet dangling over the edge of the world

Feeling so small yet so loved

I’m not even a speck on the map of the universe

Yet I am at peace knowing the grander plan

Seeing the hustle and bustle of everyday lives

And recognizing the chaos below me

From way up here I am clear and free

And I choose to look at the skies.

There is beauty all around

Sometimes you just have to take the time to look for it

But Then

My day begins normal; just like most others

I wake up, wash my face, brush my teeth, and get my breakfast to-go.

I get in the car and hit the road to work

But then…but then, it happens.

Something triggers me and snaps me out of reality

The need, the addiction throbs like a headache

Or maybe it causes the headache-

Either way, the throbbing makes me wake up

It makes me drive a little faster
Nothing beats getting this fix.

I missed this feeling; I crave this feeling!

The itch hits like a rhythm-keeping bass drum

No, it IS the rhythm-keeping bass drum

I blare my speakers at full capacity

I necessitate the rush and how it flows through my veins

The need drives me…

But then…but then the song ends.

I turn the volume down, but my smile remains.

My day continues normal; just like most others. 

Unexpected Moments

As I sat next to you
Our conversation brought us to things I’d never talked about before
I shared secrets
And realized I left myself exposed
Stripped of the walls I kept so high
Walls I had never let fall until that moment
Showing you who I really was
Hoping you’d accept me for every little imperfection
I searched your eyes for an inkling of what you’d say
Finding you impossible to read,
Insecurity swept over me and caused my cheeks to flush
I longed for my old walls to bury me
Bury me under the embarrassment of this eternal pause
I shift in my position to stand and walk away
But you took hold of my hand and pulled me into you to save the moment
You kissed my lips with a tenderness I never knew existed
A kiss so soft I had to peek to make sure it was real
Our first kiss couldn’t have been at a better moment.
You promised there would be many more to come
And I’m looking forward to each and every one.

Thorn

You’re the thorn in my side; the splinter in my hand; the rock in my shoe,

And I don’t know how to completely rid myself of you

As much as I’ve tried to keep my distance

You keep forcing ways to stay in existence

I’m long past the point of being worn thin

You don’t even need to be present to burrow in

You’ve burrowed for so long that you’ve left a scar

My past failure of a relationship that burned to char

Each time I try to remove you, you dig in with such flamboyance

That my flesh has found ways to grow over your annoyance

Not to say it doesn’t hurt, I fear it always will

There will always be scabs, under the scar, that need to heal

But you’re the thorn in my side that just keep twisting

The rock in my shoe that keeps on persisting

The splinter in my hand that keeps me from sparring

As I try to heal the scabbing and scarring.

 

O America

O America, the beautiful, the land of the free

From snow-capped mountains and my home by the sea

From lush forests, meandering grassy hills, and plenty of fresh air

From morals and values and governments run by prayer

To riots, gangs, corruption, and taking what is not yours

To trash on the streets, pollution in the skies, and terrorist wars,

To filthy language, drugs, violence, and scandalous clothes

To wild storms, raging fires, leaping seas and vengeful tornadoes

Our founding principles are left to ruins, some wonder why God withdrew

With no respect for Him or His creation it’s no wonder why our cities are in ruins now too

O America, the polluted, the desolate, and overflowing with debris

With what once was the chosen land, what have we done to thee?

Rivulets

It’s been a while. She doesn’t even know why

But rivulets meander from each azure eye.

On this very moment and for this very season

She doesn’t have or need any particular reason

It’s just one of those days where emotions run high

And the only way to placate them is to cry

So in the solitude of her room and comfort of her bed

She frees the contents burdening her head

They escape through the windows to her soul

As she convinces herself that it’s ok to let it go

Oh No

Open mouth… insert foot
What the crap am I doing?

I can’t help but blurt out words I’ve been feeling for weeks
As I kill the only relationship I care about at the moment
Great idea!
Everything I know not to do, is for some reason what I am doing
I’m going about it all wrong
I can’t help it;
I’m spewing words at you like you gave me food poisoning
I’m in a blunt mood and am so freakin sick of your games
So I’m calling you out on your crap
I’m not sugar-coating a dang word
You take my words as they come 
-like base-balls flying at your head
You dodge most and try throwing them back at me
But I can tell some hit you in the gut
I quickly kill you off as a potential suitor
as if that’s what I wanted to do all along
 Go me!

Night Vision

The suns been down for hours and everyone else is asleep

I always come alive when the world is counting sheep

I tip-toe out of the house and whisper “be back soon”

Then step into the night, and glow from the light of the bright neon moon

Solitude consumes me, but there’s a smile on my face

I feel breeze on my cheek like I’ve been kissed by grace

I can finally clear my thoughts, I can finally breathe

I can finally dream of whatever I want to conceive

I can think, I can write, I can stare at the stars

And live in the moment that use to be ours 
 

This Time

Of course you’ve come back, you can’t stay away I’ve found
But there’s one thing that has changed this time around
This time, I’m not torn to pieces and in shambles on the floor
and for the first time after the million others, I don’t want you anymore
I don’t long for your touch, I don’t dream of your eyes
I don’t hold out for you while swimming in a sea of guys
The pedestal you stood on has finally collapsed
And has left me somewhat regretful of the past
Cause now I know better and I stand more reserved
I gave you more credit than you deserved
I’m disappointed in my ability to know good from bad
And let down that I gave you all the respect I had
I don’t hold anything against you cuz the fault is all mine
It’s just so nice not having to shield my wounds from your brine
And it’s nice not having wounds from your words anymore
I’m so happy that this time is finally different than before
Sorry to drop the friendship, but we really weren’t ever friends
I was your confidence boost and you -my hopeful means to an end
Hopefully you can find a girl that makes you feel like I made you feel
And hopefully the next time I fall for someone it will actually be real.